One Moment In Time
by omschen
Summary: On the Enterprise E nothing seems like it used to be. With a war going on the Explore's heart aches for more than patroling boarders. And a certain Doctor feels trapped. So tbe Counselor prescripes some shoreleave. Together!
1. One Moment In Time-1-

Chapter 1

"So, how long will Starfleet be having us patroling this border?"

Beverly grabbed a croissant and laid it on the plate in front of her. When she didn't get an answer she looked up to find her breakfast partner staring into his cup of coffee in deep thought. She smiled. Looking at him for a while she studied the wrinkles on his forehead moving in deep thought.

He grabbed his cup and sipped his coffee. Placing the empty cup back on the saucer he looked up to face his breakfast partner. It seemed he had only just noticed that he was not alone. Beverly smiled at him and got up to pour him some more coffee. He followed her each and every move enjoying her graceful motions like studying a beautiful painting. He memorized every line in her face. She looked tired. Why hadn't he noticed earlier.

When she had sat back she moved forward to fetch herself a croissant. She looked at him smiling. He loved her smile. She raised her eyebrow and he suddenly noticed that he probably had been sitting there staring into the void in front of him for he couldn't say how long. He knew she was going to ask him, what he had been thinking about. What was he to answer? That he was tired of their latest mission? That he wished for more? That he had stared at her again wishing for more?

He cleared his throat. No use to hide he decided to dupe her.

"Beverly?"

She locked her eyes to his and nodded.

"Will you have diner with me tonight?"

She smiled.

"I'd like that. When do you want me to come?"

He brushes his hand over his chin.

"I thought we could use a change of scenery. Come to the Holodeck at 1800."

Beverly raised her eyebrow again. She took a good look at the man sitting at the other end of the table. He looked tired and although she would never admit it, she was feeling rather tired herself. A change of scenery seemed a good plan.

"What do you have in mind?"

She pulled up her leg, grabbed her cup in two hands and looked at him provocatively. He shook his head.

"I don't really know that, but I will come up with something in time."

She smiled at him broadly and emptied her cup. He looked back admiring the life that had come back into her eyes.

She leaned forward.

"I hope however Dixon Hill is on holidays?!"

"I thought you liked Dixon Hill", he said.

The picture of Beverly in 1920 cloths appeared in front of his inner eye. He needed to straighten the corners of his mouth to not look ridiculous. Beverly's wit was sharper than a Klingons sword and he was in no mood to be injured.

She slowly got up, placing her empty cup on the table. She didn't say a word and Picard thought it was strange. She went over to the other side of the table to stand behind him. All of a sudden she felt rather bold. She placed her hands an his shoulders, leaned down and whispered into his ear.

"Although I have to say, you look rather dashing in that suit."

As quickly as she had touched him, so quickly she had removed her hands and had walk around the table again. Before he was able to say anything, Beverly had started to remove the dishes.

"But I really need to get going now, Dix", she said leaving him behind dumbfounded.

She left without looking back. When his brain finally was able to work again she was gone.

He slowly moved his hand up to his cheek where her breath had touched him earlier. He still felt the warmth of her hands on his shoulders. He wondered wether she really meant what she had said. He could never be sure. But then again he never had known her lying. She loved teasing him. And she was the only person that regularly managed to scare the hell out of him. But she wouldn't lie.

"Merde!"

He slowly got up and tug his shirt down. The Captain was back. He placed his plate and cup on the disposal unit and went for the door. Although his face was set in stone he was deep in thought when he went through the corridors. The mission they were following right now was mainly routine. But it was not what he wanted to do. He missed exploring the unknown. Starfleet seemed to lose its appeal.

They had just finished aiding a rather big colony on Sotran 2 in distress. And now they were roaming back and forth along this border.


	2. One Moment In Time-2-

Chapter 2

Picard entered the bridge undecided wether to take his chair in the middle or wether to go to his ready room directly to catch up on the latest instructions in dealing with foreign affairs in Starfleet. William Riker got up when Picard stopped halfway down the small gangway like slope.

"Good Morning Captain", sounded the strong deep voice of his first officer.

His Counselor Deanna Troy smiled broadly at him.

"Good Morning Captain!"

He decided to direct his feet to the big chair. He saw no immediate need in catching up with this foreign affairs thing and preferred to rather spend some time with his officers and divert his time with the planet he had ordered to be scanned. He was slightly astonished that Troy was on the bridge. She usually used times like that for private counseling.

Picard sat down and took a good look at the viewport.

"So how are we doing? Status report Mr Data."

The seat to the left of him turned around and Data faced him. With his usual efficieny that would have been rude had it come from any human he reported stoically.

"The Scanners failed during the night due to a systematic overload. Both Botanists and Geologs wanted to use 100% at the same time. We are scanning again with full capacity since 0400 hours. Exobotanists have asked to send an away team on the 6th planet to verify some suspicions on a supply of 'Platamino" in the southern parts."

Picard sighed. Apart from simply shipping stupidly back and forth the border he had allowed himself the freedom of scanning one of the smaller planets in this system. Like that at least some research would be done during this hopeless mission.

Picard nodded and turned to Lieutenant Wolf. It had taken him one month to get over the coincident that his new Chief Of Securitiy's name sounded almost like the one of the big Klingon that used to stand behind him. What shocked him even more was instead of Worf's deep voice he would hear a female voice on his back.

Sandra Wolf was nothing like Worf. She was small and lean. She wore her long blond hair in a ponytail and loved to talk. Whereas Worf only spoke a handful of words words during their staff meeting she used a dozen sentences. Worf could not be friendly - she was smiling and telling jokes or anecdotes without ending. During their first meeting he couldn't believe that Worf had actually recommended her. The more he got to know her, the more he understood Worf's recommendation. Lieutenant Wolf reacted instantly.

"There seems to be no immediate danger they would encounter. Apart from flora we didn't not read any live. I however suggest to have the scientists accompanied by several security officers. The border is also clear of anything suspicious. We just need your "GO", Captain."

Picard nodded.

"Make it so!"

Both Data and Wolf started to send messages to the Botanists and the Security officers. Picard started out of the viewport. The system they were currently in was more than boring. Maybe not so for Botanists and Geologists but he saw no thrill in it. He wondered wether his passion for exploring strange new worlds had been gradually damaged over the years of acting as a diplomat or acting as ambulance or police in critical situation.

He looked at his first Officer typing on the small control panel next to him. He didn't seem to be that thrilled either. His face was missing its usual smile and his eyes looked rather dull today. What is it today?

He watched Riker. When will he finally step out and take one of the offers to have his own ship? He is not getting any younger. And the Enterprise iE might still be the flagship of the Federation but lately she had lost its appeal. There were times he wished he had never crushed the D simply because of the E.

He felt the counselor to his left move silently in her chair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He damned himself for not noticing right away when he entered. The dark haired woman obviously wanted to talk to him. And as she had not set an appointment he was sure she was worried about him. She also must have felt the state of distraction he was in when entering the bridge. How well could she read him? Normally he managed to shied his emotions pretty well from her but lately he had been rather distracted and hasn't been that careful.

He sighed inwardly and looked straight onto the viewport. But the sight was beyond uninteresting. He got up and looked in direction of Commander Riker.

"I'll be in my ready room. You have the bridge number one."

He looked at the Counselor and nodded.

"Counselor."

Deanne hesitated only a moment. Most people were slightly scared of the Captain's authority in certain situation and even though she had been working closely together with him, she still let herself be overwhelmed by his stern manners he often showed. But she quickly got up and followed her with small but energetic steps. Her voice strong she called after him.

"Captain, may I have a word with you?"

Picard slowed down and closed his eyes. So he had not managed to scare her away. I should have known better, he was thinking to himself when he turned around. Keeping his mouth straight he gestured her to follow him into his ready room.

"Be my guest, Counselor."

Deanna increased her pace and walked past the standing Captain entering the Ready Room in front of him. She halted right after the door, allowing the Captain to choose their sitting arrangements. He passed her, directing his feet to the replicator to order a cup of tea but he didn't not offer her anything.

Deanna knew that his rudeness was not a personal matter. She had experienced hundreds of similar encounters with him. She had seen him like that with simple crewman and high rank officers. It was his ultimate way of authority. Next he would sit down behind his desk and suddenly notice, that he had left her waiting. Reluctantly he would offer her a seat and sip his tea. She barley managed to contain a smile.

He did not disappoint her predictions. When he had put down his cup he looked her straight in the eyes.

Although she had been serving with him for years and sat in his Ready Room a thousand times she felt his authority sweeping over her and for a second considered to back off. She only knew one person, that never backed off when faced his legendary authority but at the same time respected him highly.

Picard smiled triumphantly. Of course he had no intention playing games with the woman in front of him. He respected her very much, but when it came to private matters he preferred to leave those matters private. Or occasionally talk to Beverly. Suddenly he had an idea. He would just turn this conversation into a completely different direction.

The Counselor looked at him carefully. She wondered at the changing emotions she was receiving. He seemed annoyed that she had come and she knew it was only because he suspected why she had come. But she also sensed tiredness. Not in a physiological way, but deep inside he seemed to be tired and exhausted.

"Counselor. It is good you came", he started the conversation.

She smiled and nodded. He took the first step. That was a better beginning than she had expected.

"I wanted to ask a favor of you."

Deanna raises her eyebrows.

"Naturally Captain. What can I do for you?"

Picard brushes over his head. Had she not known him better, she would have called him to be nervous. Or wait! Was he nervous?

"Have you seen Doctor Crusher lately?"

Deanna shook her head. Inwardly she rolled her eyes. He was all business today calling her Doctor Crusher. Actually it could not have been more than a dozen times he had called her by her first name in front of her during those many years they served together on this ship.

"Usually we exercise together twice a week, but she was so busy lately, we hardly met."

Picard nodded.

"She worked up a lot of extra hours trying to save those people. I think she is very tired."

Deanna nodded in agreement. Picard slowly got up and walked towards the replicator. Now was the time to ba a gentleman again. Picard was know as a brilliant tactician and that did go for his officers as well.

"Some tea Counselor?"

Deanna turned around to follow the Captain with her eyes.

"Yes please!"

She wondered wether she should mention that he himself needed a break, too. That he himself looked and felt tired and exhausted too and that that was the reason she came here in the first place. While battling the pros and cons he had already placed the cup in front of her and sat down again. He looked in her direction but it seemed to him, she was far away.

"Counselor?!"

She turned her head smiling.

"Captain, I had just..."

"Counselor, I need your..."

The both started simultaneously. Deanna held up both her hands in an excusing manner. She smiled at him.

"Go ahead Captain!"

"I had asked the Doctor to have diner with me on the Holodeck this morning. I thought a change of scenery would help to keep her mind of ships business."

Deanna smiled genuinely.

"That is very thoughtful of you and a splendid idea."

Deanna answered and was happy that this would also give the Captain some time of. And who knew, maybe those two would enjoy more than just the scenery on the Holodeck.

Picard nodded.

"I however seem to be slightly clueless as to what program to run. She asked to not have Dixon Hill and I agree. We could choose a Restaurant in Paris or anything like that, but I thought a more relaxed setting would be nice."

Deanna smiled. His forehead was showing a deep wrinkle. His eyes were pleading to help her.

"I see what you mean. What about a picnic in the mountains? I know a nice spot in Alaska and is very beautiful in summer looking all over the cliff one sees nothing but green meadows and blue skies."

Picard shook his head.

"A picnic is a splendid idea. But Beverly is afraid of heights."

When she heard him using the Doctors first name she raised her eyebrows. He was really concerned and she felt a wave of affection for her two friends running through her body.

"Captain. Do you trust me?"

Picard smiled and nodded.

"Let me arrange the picnic for you. I think I know just the right spot for you and Beverly."

Picard took the last sip of his tea and nodded. He slowly relaxed. He wondered wether he should dare asking her, what she had wanted. He placed his cup back onto the saucer and pressed his hands together.

"So Counselor. What did you have in mind?"

Deanna had been distracted by his request and still was in thought planning the Captains and Doctors trip to the Holodeck.

"Well, there is this really beautiful nature resort on Betazed. It is ideal for relaxing. The meadows are full of blue and pink flowers and the trees are spectacular. There is a soft river running."

She sight.

"It is the perfect place for a roman..."

Picards raised his eyebrows.

"Uuhh relaxing picnic."

Picard smiled.

"That sounds just like the right thing. Thank you for the help with the Holodeck."

Deanna smiled.

"You are very welcome. I'll arrange everything for you."

Picard looked down on his desk and turned his terminal towards him.

Deanna knew that this was his sign for her to leave. She got up and went for the door. With every step she was more frustrated with herself. She had not at all managed to talk to him about his own signs of tiredness. She rolled her eyes at herself.

Biting her lip the dark haired Counselor stopped right in front of the door. She took a deep breath. Assuming she would leave Picard had been starting to read the latest orders Starfleet had been sending. She shook his head. Deanna sensed a hint of depression from him.

It would be a long shot and she might risk his trust and Beverly's friendship but she could not just leave those two to themselves. As much as she respected both of them she also considered them two of the most annoyingly stubborn people she knew.

Without turning around she said.

"I think Doctor Crusher might be considering leaving the Enterprise."

Picard's head shot up, taken back by what he had just heard and the fact that the Counselor was still in his office."

"What?"

His voice was a lot harsher than he had intended it to be, his feelings all of a sudden had been splashed towards the surface.

Deanna turned around.

She looked him into the eyes seeing all the mixed emotions and questions behind his captain's facade that he had managed to built up within seconds. She would go all in.

"Beverly is tired of what Starfleet has become. She had not talked to me about anything but I can see how tired she is. I guess she also did not talk to you. You know she never talks to anyone. But if I might dare say so Captain, you seem to be rather tired yourself and I think this cannot be helped by a good nights sleep. You will not talk to me either. But maybe you could consider talking to each other. It might help both of you to consider options. Take some leave and put some distance to the restraints of Starfleet and the Enterprise. You both need some time off."

Deanna took a deep breath. She looked at Picard waiting for him to close her out. Picard leaned back in his chair brushing his hand over the back of his head massaging his neck.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Deanna stood waiting not sure what to do.

The Captain opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Do you think Doctor Crusher might be spending some days of leave in my company?"

Deanna smiled inwardly. She once again was astonished how insecure the Captain could be when it came to his Chief Medical Officer. They had know each other for decades, had been friends for years and still he would fear her temper.

She twinkled her eye.

"If you ask nicely?!"

The Captain nodded.

"Dismissed."

Deanna moves towards the door again.

"And Deanna?"

She turned her head around.

"Thank you for being so frank."

She smiled over her whole face. "Good luck Captain."


	3. One Moment In Time-3-

Chapter 3

Jean Luc Picard, Captain of the USS Enterprise got up and went to the viewport. Deanna had managed to stir up something that had been buried deep within him. He knew she was right. But what had astonished him was, that she had noticed his doubts about where to the Federation was going. Of course they had been discussing those matters during the senior officers meetings but he was astonished that she had noticed how deeply it had influenced him personally.

But he still was the Captain and he had dedicated his life to Starfleet and the Federation. To give that up felt like betrayal. He pushed those thought away. His mind wandered to Beverly. The Counselor was right. Beverly was tired of where the Federation was heading to. She was tired of Starfleet's decisions and she would not tolerate that for long. She was more committed to being a Doctor than to Starfleet.

For the first time in his life he feared that he might lose her forever. She had been part of his life for a long time. She had been there during all his affairs with other women. She had been his doctor. She had been his friend. And she had been so much more. They had shared unique experiences that clued them together. Beverly had been his constant companion even in times when Nella or Anji took the first place in his live.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He felt the fire burn again. It had always been there. Her name alone was burned into his heart and he knew he would never find a woman like her. Her image appeared before his inner eye and he felt the familiar tension building in his body. He forced himself to open his eyes to stop himself from burning up.

He turned around and tug down his shirt. He took a good look at the plans Starfleet had made for them for the next two weeks. Nothing unusual. Nothing Riker wouldn't manage. He tapped his communicator.

"Picard to Crusher!"

"Yes Captain?"

She sounded busy but happy.

"Are you free for lunch?"

He could almost see her raising her eyebrow. They had just had breakfast and had a date for diner. He was ridiculous asking her to have lunch with her. All of a sudden he noticed that he might make a fool out of himself.

"Oh, Captain. I am not sure wether I will manage. I am rather busy down here and intended to simply take a small snack. But if you'd like to join me down here l'll give you a call when I am available."

Picard nodded.

"That would be nice, Doctor!"

"Good. Crusher out"

What was that about? Beverly wrinkled her forehead and stared onto her padd. She remembered how tired and preoccupied he seemed in the morning. In fact it was not the first time she had found him that way.

She shook her head. She was seeing ghosts again. She grabbed her padd pressing it to her front and made her way to her office. She still needed to finish this report after all.

Way past 1300 hours she finally finished and took a deep breath. She grabbed the cup of coffee some nurse had placed on her desk earlier to find the dark liquid cold and bitter. Disgusted she got up and got rid of the cup remembering that the Captain was probably waiting for her call.

"Crusher to Picard."

Picard was sitting in the big chair surveying the progress of the scans. He instantly felt Deanna Troys look on his face when she heard the incoming call.

"Yes Doctor."

"I am sorry it got so late."

Picard shook his head.

"If you still haven't had lunch I could offer you a sandwich now."

Picard smiled.

"On my way Doctor!"

He answered and stood up.

"The usual?"

Could be heard from the distant voice of the red headed doctor.

"Yes!"

Deanna and Will looked at each other. Before entering the turbolift Picard turned around.

"You have the bridge Number One!"

"Yes sir", Riker answered heaving himself out of his chair and taking his place in the middle.

Riker leaned over to Deanna a big questionmark on his face.

"What was that?"

Deanne raised her eyebrow. She kept her voice low when she answered.

"What do you mean?"

Riker rolled his eyes.

"The usual?"

Deanne still looked at him, asking him to continue.

"Is there anything you should tell me that you know and I don't know."

Deanna rolled her eyes and smiled.

"No!"

Riker shook his head.

"I don't believe this!"

"What do you mean?"

"The usual?"

Deanna padded his arm.

"Down boy. They had lunch together before!"

Riker covered Deanna's hand with his own and leaned forward.

"You taking all the fun out of this conversation, my dear."

Deanna rolled her eyes.

"I have studied '101 ways to get rid of your Captain again'",

He smiled broadly.

"So?"

"Number 46 is the one with the sandwich!"

Deanna chuckled.

"I don't think so, Will!"

Will leaned back into the Captain's chair again and brushed over his beard.

"Too bad."

"You rather like that chair?"

Riker snuggled deeper into the chair in the middle. He leaned back and made a show out of trying the chair. He earned a wide smile.

"So? You like the chair?"

Deanna raises her eye at his rather satisfied grin. He placed his hand upon her arm and leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"I especially like that it is placed so close to your chair."

When he breathed into her neck she could feel her body reacting to his closeness. He let himself fall back into the captain's chair and looked at her triumphantly watching the aftermaths of his teasing.


	4. One Moment In Time-4-

Chapter 4

When the Captain entered Beverly's office he found her putting two glasses and a carafe with water on her desk. She had already fetched the sandwiches and a bowl of vegetable sticks. She seemed to be in deep thought but when she noticed him her face lite up a d she smiled at him.

She poured him some water and they both sat down and grabbed their sandwiches. They stared to chew in silence and he took his time to study her. She had dark rings under her eyes and her cheeks had sunken in. Had she lost weight? Yes, she looked tired and worn out. He watched her taking another byte and chew half heartedly on her sandwich.

She put down her sandwich and elegantly fished a carrot stick out of the bowl.

"So how is it going up there?"

Picard shook his head.

"Nothing special."

Beverly sighed.

"You seem to be still busy", he asked raising his eyebrows in sympathy.

She laid down her sandwich and grabbed her glass staring towards a point somewhere behind him absent minded.

He thought about his conversation with the counselor earlier. Maybe she was right.

"Beverly?"

She looked up as though she had just noticed he was there.

"I am sorry Jean Luc."

"Don't be. What were you thinking about?"

She lightly shook her head and smiled.

"All and nothing. What have you planned for tonight?"

"A trip to Betazed."

She looked at him questioning.

"Betazed?"

"Deanna stormed into my office today planing on talking me into shore leave so I decided to preoccupy her by fixing a nice place for us to have diner."

Beverly laughed out loud.

"Did it work out?"

"Essentially yes!"

Picard leaned back in his chair getting into a comfortable chatting position while Beverly leaned forward, leaning on the table placing her head into her hands.

"But?"

"You know she is right. I need more than one evening off in lovely company and relaxing surroundings."

Beverly raised her eyebrow in astonishment. She was about to comment his last words but he raised his right hand to stop her.

"You know Beverly, instead of going to the Holodeck tonight we could go to Betazed or any other place for real and spend some time off together. Away from this ship and Starfleet."

Those last words had just slipped out of his mouth and he all of a sudden felt quite selfconcious. He leaned forward running running his finger over the rim of his glass watching his every move. He didn't dare to look her into her eyes for fear of mock.

Beverly herself looked down onto his finger grazing the rim of his glass. Her eyes wandered up to the wrinkle just upon his nose. He looked incredibly vulnerable. She took a deep breath and nodded more to herself than to him. She wondered what to say. Time seemed to pass and no one spoke. She knew he waited for him to make any kind of move. It would not be the first time she let him down. But that wasn't her intention anyways. She wanted to say 'yes' but what should see say? 'Let's go'?

He started to slowly look up searching her eyes for an answer. Locking eyes with him she smiled and her voice barely above her whisper she answered.

"I'd love that."

At first he didn't grasp what she had just heard. The words floated on the surface but didn't reach his head nor heart. Beverly leaned over to grab his hand.

"Jean Luc?"

There he was back again in her office, her hand in his and she smiled at him having just accepted his invitation. Finally he was able to speak again.

"When should we get started?"

She draw back her hand, leaned back and looked onto the pad she had taken up.

"The sooner, the better. I will have to finish some stuff and talk to Doctor Able and pack. But I could manage 1700 if necessary."

Picard nodded. He still couldn't believe this was happening at all.

"That should work for me too. I will have to brief Riker and I will have Data check out some places we can reach within a day's trip. And we decide on the way."

Beverly's smile broadened. She hadn't felt quite that content in weeks. She took another byte from her sandwich that all of a sudden tasted so much better and dug into the words on her padd. All of a sudden she remembered that Picard was still sitting opposite to her.

"I am sorry Jean Luc. I have to get going. Otherwise I will never manage in time."

Picard smiled, fetched her now empty plate and left.

"We meet 1700 in the main shuttle bay."

Beverly nodded.

"Mhmm!"


	5. One Moment In Time-5-

Chapter 5

Some hours later they were comfortably sitting in the shuttle that would bring them to Sangalo 4. They had discussed destinations over a light diner and now they were sitting in comfortable silence reading.

Sangola 4 was a rather unspectacular planet in most terms. The people living there however where nice and friendly. The vast forest and meadow areas were mainly uninhibited and the Sangolans had put up a number of cabins every here and there for visitors to spent time away from the rest of the world.

The first days were spent taking long walks, enjoying the silence surrounding them and the pleasant company they found in each other. Jean Luc noticed that Beverly looked better every day. Her face and body relaxed and and she reminded him more and more of the young woman he had met more than 25 years ago.

Their cabin was situated next to a wonderful lake surrounded by high trees and beautiful flowering meadows. They had taken the small path towards the next village almost every day. The people were friendly. They earned their living tending the fields and raising a sheep like animals. The Sangolans were a humanoid race. They were slightly shorter than people from earth. Their skin was shimmering in a light blue, their hair was golden or silverfish and their dark eyes lay deep in their face.

Their simple living and kindness reminded Jean Luc of Ba'Ku. He had never gone back there. The further he had gotten away from Anji the more he noticed that his love for her was not as deep as he had considered it to be.

Beverly caught Jean Luc in deep thought staring at those people the next day they went I to the village to shop for groceries. She took his hand and squeezed it. He looked at her wondering what she meant when a young girl came running towards her and stood nervously in front of Beverly.

"Ma'm. You are a doctor, are you not?"

The girl asked slightly nervous, but very committed.

Beverly went down to meet the girl who only was slightly taller that a human 6 year to meet her eye to eye.

"I am Beverly and I am a doctor. What is you name? What can I do for you?"

"I am Naala. You must see my mom. She is having a baby. She is in so much pain and screaming. Please come."

She grabbed Beverly's hand and started to pull her behind her. Beverly exchanged a glance with Jean Luc. He nodded and followed after the two.

"Don't you have a Doctor or midwife here?"

Beverly asked the girl. She might be as long as an earth six year old, but Beverly guessed she must be at least in her teens.

"The Doctor is living in the next village and will come some time and the midwife is busy with some other woman in the village in the other side of the lake."

Beverly let herself be pulled down the street while the girl kept on talking.

"My mother was never in such pain before when giving birth. Her friend doesn't know what to do. I heard you are a doctor. You must help her."

"I will try to help her Naala."

Beverly tried to calm the girl. They reached the cabin and Naala pulled Beverly into the house. One could hear the mother screaming on the street. Picard stopped just in front of the door. He felt uncomfortable and didn't know what to do. As usual he admired Beverly's talent to quickly connect on a personal level in a professional way.

Beverly did not give her heart away easily. Just like himself she was a very private person and only had a selected number of good friends. Jean Luc wondered how much even those friends knew about her. What did he, who called her his best friend, know about her anyways. He had to admit that it actually wasn't very much. She mainly kept her emotions and inner thoughts to herself. He had always wished to get to know her more but was too afraid to scare her away.

However whenever she was with a patient, especially a child she seemed to be a completely different person. She opened up to them to a level that made them feel confident in trusting them. Being a physician was more to her than a job. It was following her call and he loved watching her in those occasions.

He wondered what to do when Naala's small hand grabbed his and pulled him into the cabin. He tried to resist but the girl was quite strong and he did not want to affront those people. Naala pulled him into a semi big room that must be the parents bedroom. The furniture was simple but beautiful. It reminded him of the old farmers furniture he had seen in traditional houses in France. Beverly knelt beside the bed and was talking to the mother. Two other women were trying to help but the mother seemed to be in horrible pain.

Jean Luc didn't know what to do. Naala was still holding his hand and squeezed it almost painfully. He looked down into the small face and noticed the fear that washed all over her now. They stood in the far corner of the room while Beverly was trying to find out what was wrong. She softly spoke to the mother and used simple words to order the neighbours to fetch some cloth and water to cool the mothers face.

Picard wondered at the woman at work. He wondered how she worked that magic taking the situation in hand in tender force making everybody feel at ease and comfortable with her taking over the situation. He had seen it with her staff on the Enterprise. But there she was their CMO, but he remembered more than one situation where she did it on strange planets.

He remembered Rutia 4. The rebels had taken her hostage and soon after they had taken her she was basically running the small medical facility in the caves earning their trust easily and making their leader fall in love with her. He never told Beverly, but he had seen the love and admiration for Beverly shining in his eyes. He had even began to think that Beverly had started to see more than a rebel in him and got jealous. But the way she glared at him when he had confronted her with that idea showed him that she never had lost her professional eye on the situation even though she had disobeyed his orders earlier.

Naala's fingers squeezed him back into the now and here. Beverly had helped the mother into a more comfortable position. Picard followed her elegant hands feeling and slightly pressing the mother's belly. She was one hundred concentrated. She had putted her hair back into a ponytail. Picard smiled. He loved her hair but wearing a ponytail offered a much better sight of her beautiful face.

Time went by. The women around were busy helping the mother, bringing her water and dried fruit to chew on. They told Beverly about the relaxing effect of an apple like fruit. Beverly took a small byte and nodded knowingly. Picard and Naala still stood in the far away corner. Naala still held his hand. Picard was feeling less and less uncomfortable but still felt like he had just invaded this very private scene whereas Beverly seemed to simply belong in this scene.

Time went by but finally the child made it out of its mothers womb. Beverly held the child in her hand and turned around to catch Picard's glance before she handed it to the mother. Naala let lose of Picard's Hand and ran to greet her new sister. Beverly's smile was brilliant. Her whole face was glowing. Jean Luc had not seen her so entirely whole and happy in some time than now among these women.

She turned towards Jean Luc again crossed the room and hugged him unexpectedly. He smiled and pulled her close savoring her body close to him and inhaling her scent. Beverly took a step back and the spell that had fallen upon them vanished.

They started to make their way to the door when Naala came after them.

"Doctor. Thank you for coming."

Beverly smiled.

"It was nothing",

She assured the girl.

Naala nodded.

"Enjoy your new sister."

Naala nodded again, then turned around to go to her mother again.


	6. One Moment In Time-6-

Chapter 6

Picard and Beverly walked next each other towards their cabin in silence. When they left the village Picard started to talk.

"You really love to deliver babys."

It was more of a statement than a question. Beverly stopped to look him in the eyes. Her face was still shining from the joy she had felt helping that baby coming.

"It is the most beautiful thing in the world. A new life is born. Can there be anything more joyful?"

She grabbed his both hands and held them up between them.

"A new life. Untouched. Innocent. And this is something that will never change. It is the ultimate proof that hate or war will never be able to win."

She took a deep breath, looked down upon their hands and the looked into his eyes again.

"It is the only hope we have that will never cease."

Picard didn't know what to say. He could see a mix of emotions in her: joy and hope but there also was a hint of fear and resent. She let lose of his hands and laid her hand on his cheek. Pulling him close she quickly kissed his lips, then turned around to keep on walking towards their cabin.

Picard stood frozen for a moment. When he came back to the now and her, Beverly had started walking again he took several long steps to follow after her. She turned her head slightly to look at him. She smiled.

"That really is the best thing about being a doctor. Being part of the community and helping those in need and distress. To meet the young people you once delivered on the street. To accompany a life."

Picard nodded.

"I could see that glow in your eyes. You loved being a part of them in that house."

Beverly looked down as if being caught by wishing for something that she was not allowed to think of and nodded. Picard could see that she was uncomfortable but decided to not let her off the hook easily this time. He started to follow her.

"Did you sometime wish you had not joined Starfleet?"

He asked and both stopped.

She stood beside him stroking the hair out of her face. Her smile was gone and she wrinkled her forehead instead. Her eyes all of a sudden seemed to be huge in astonishment. She took a moment more to think. Then she shook her head.

"No."

Picard smiled.

„Let's go home. After what you did today you are in for a treat."

Beverly raised her eyebrow smiling.

"What did you have in mind?"

"A bath for you, if you want to, and than I will try to find a nice restaurant. What do you think?"

Beverly smiled.

"A bath is a splendid idea. But I would rather have a picnic at the lake?"

"So then that we will do."


	7. One Moment In Time-7-

Chapter 7

Beverly had taken a long bubble bath rethinking the conversation she had had with Jean Luc. She did not regret that she had joined Starfleet all that years ago instead of being a doctor with a small practice.

Could she have been happier, had she lived like her grandmother? She had been a healer and had lived with the people of the village for decades sharing their ups and downs. Her life would have been a completely different one.

She always liked that idea, but she had always been a little restless. She had wanted something different. She never had beed sitting home reading or painting or whatever other children did. She had been outside exploring her surroundings, looking for adventures. When she became elder that got her into a lot of trouble.

Then she had been to the academy and met Jack and... she sighed, and Jean Luc. In a way he had always been there beside her. Either as a real person, as a subject of conversations or letters or as a ghost after Jack had died. In some letters Jack wrote more about Jean Luc, then about himself. Jack adored his Captain and like that Beverly got to know the young Captain almost as well as her husband had known him.

Jean Luc. When did I start to get so dependent on him? She couldn't imagine life without him. But a life with him wasn't what she could imagine either. She tried pushing him out of her mind, but he really wouldn't leave her mind. What do I want my life to be in the future? Do I want to start a life planetside without him or continue traveling the stars with him by my side, but never being really close. Could she be happy without him? Could she start doing without being more of a healer like she had been just some hours ago? To whatever side she turned the coin. There was always something missing.

But then again. Jean Luc was right. She belonged among people. She wanted to look after their life's. Like on the "D" she mused. The "D" was different. She remembered the babies being born there, she remembered seeing them growing up, sitting on one of her bio beds treating a graze. Life on the "E" was far from that. And she didn't like the missions they were sent to. She felt more and more like a field doctor.

However you turn the coin Beverly. You will not be happy because whatever side will be up, the other side will be missing. What would Nana do? Follow your heart, she would say. But what if my heart is torn? Make a list Jack would have said. Pros and cons and then decide. Not very much better! It is hopeless Beverly!

And then Jean Luc was standing there, right in front of her door, waiting for her to talk to her. She knew that this is what he wanted! He wanted her to tell him what was wrong with her. So far both had managed to avoid talking about what was really going on in their souls. She had no doubt that Deanna had her hand in this vaccation. She didn't know, what she had told the Captain. But it didn't matter. She wasn't mad at either of them. She had not talked about that to Deann anyways.

She enjoyed this time with him enormously. Far away from the ship, she had all of him and not just the part that was standing in the wings waiting for the Captain to go to rest. Spending all this time with him on this planet almost made it impossible for her to leave him. She shook her head. This was leading nowhere! She let herself completely slide into the water hoping that the water would wash away her sorrows.

She stepped out of the bath tub, rubbed herself dry and got into her bathrobe. Stepping out of the bathroom she saw Jean Luc's back. He was busy preparing their picnic. She leaned onto the doorframe and watched him. Even from behind she could tell that he had taken extra care with his choice of trousers and shirts. It was her favorite shirt. It was from white silk following a classical 20s century style and she had once mentioned that she liked it. Knowing him she knew, that that was the reason he wore it tonight.

She smiled inwardly. He had really outdone himself making this holiday as nice as possible for her. He wouldn't do less. Just like as a Captain, he gave everything for her during this vaccation. She swallowed the lump in her throat. He had done all this for her. She knew he still loved her. She had daily prove of that fact even though he had the affair with Anji.

She took a deep breath. Any woman could call herself happy to have a man like that on her side. All of a sudden she felt heartbroken. There it was again. This darn fear losing him forever. She had felt it when he met old loves and met new ones, when the Borg took him and when he had asked her about the chances of having Irumdeic Syndrom. When he was with Anji she thought she had finally lost him. But he had come back.

This holiday was simply wonderful, but she nevertheless sighed. They had been on this planet for a week or so and all they had been doing was smalltalk. They catted about food, plants, the people living here, old and new friends. It was easy going. Very often they would just be still knowing the other one was near. They never even danced around the subjects they both know they needed to talk about. As so often the case they were playing safe. Their lives were good the way they were but Beverly knew that they were walking in thin ice. She no longer was happy on the Enterprise. Her job didn't fulfill her like it used to be. She needed to get away or other she would end up old and frustrated.

Today finally during their walk home she was so overfilled with joy due to the new life she had helped onto this planet, she had without any intention simply blurred out some of the thoughts that had been roaming her mind.

She needed to tell him. And I will she thought. I will tonight! No more running from the truth and no more hiding. She couldn't name her own feelings. She felt strong and overly joyful but at the same moment reluctant and fearful.

She looked at Picards wonderful feature. She loved him. His broad shoulders, slim waist and strong hands. She loved his rooked smile and how his eyes seemed to sparkle when he talked about the stars or archeology. It was a long time she had seen them sparkle, but today they didn't stop sparkling and it felt good knowing, they sparkled because of her.

She stepped forward, laid her hands upon his shoulders and looked over his shoulders. He looked slightly to the side savoring the intimacy she offered him.

"It looks delicious,"

She said. He waited for her to step back but she didn't. He didn't mind. He rather enjoyed being so close to her but was a bit astonished that she still stood so close to him.

"How was your bath?"

She smiled and let her right hand wander down his arm to catch his hand to squeeze it.

"It was wonderful. Thank you Jean Luc."

She turned around and headed of to her bedroom. In the doorframe she turned around.

"I will be back in a minute and then I am ready to go. I am famished."

Jean Luc laughed.

"You are always famished."

He took another look into the basket to see wether something was missing and then turned to the open fireplace. Better be prepared he thought to himself and fetched some firewood and placed it in the fireplace.

He sat on the sofa staring onto the logs in the fireplace. As usual these days his mind wandered to Beverly. After all this years she still was a mystery to him. What did she think teasing him like that. Or did she didn't mean to tease him? Was it just that she took their friendship so much easier? That she wasn't aware what these small gestures were pure torture to him sometimes. Oh yes, he enjoyed each and every one of them but still ...

The sound of the door pulled him out of his daydreams. He looked up. She was beautiful indeed. He had never seen that dress before. It was shimmering in different shades of blue and hugged her curves perfectly. Apart from the spaghetti straps her shoulders were bare in her hand she held a cream colored scarf. She saw him smiling and twirled around so he could have a better look.

He got up slowly and held his hand out to her to look her up and down.

"You look very beautiful today",

He said remembering her earlier actions. Two can play this game. His smile broadened when he saw her blush slightly.

"You don't look that bad yourself",

She answered taking his hand smiling.

"Let's Go!"

She added pulling him along. Reaching the door she let loose of his hand and grabbed the blankets he had laid next to the door. Jean Luc took the basket and followed her lead. They walked along the lake until Beverly silently chose a quite space. She took a deep breath inhaling the scent of the coming evening. The flavor ofthe flowers hung in the air. She took off her shoes and walked barefoot over the gras smiling to herself. Picard watched. He admired her grace and beauty. She had not bothered drying her hair after the bath and it was falling on her shoulder in soft waves. She was beautiful indeed.


	8. One Moment In Time-8-

Chapter 8

Picard spread out one of the blankets and placed the food on it. He had made small sandwiches and wraps and had cut delicious fresh fruit into pieces and melted chocolate. He had also brought a bottle of the rare vintage wine from the Picard vineyard, his brother had given him once. He wondered wether finally he would be able to return to his home in France. Could he live there in peace? Or would the ghosts of the past hunt him? The house was empty and waited for him to return. He was the last Picard from this vineyard and when Robert and René had died it had pained him that after his death the vineyard Picards will be gone.

Marie had left and he understood. Too many memories, good and bad ones, were to be lived with. After some time she had started traveling. She went to all the places she had always dreamed of and after some time it was clear that she would never come back. At first he was slightly disappointed but after some time he understood. She had moved to Lyon. A friend of her had asked her to help her with the Café she was running there. So now she worked there and earned her living herself. That is the way she wanted it. The money she inherited from the Picard family was only spent for traveling.

When Beverly came they sat down. Picard opened the bottle and tried the wine. It still was as exquisite as he remembered it to be. He filled their glasses and handed one to Beverly. He raised his glass.

"To old friends."

Beverly nodded.

"And new friends",

She added. They both took a sip.

"Jean Luc. This wine tastes wonderfully. How did you manage to hide that one from me for so long?"

Picard smiled.

"A man can have some secrets, can he not?"

He asked with a winkle of his eye.

Beverly laughed.

"You!? Secrets! You are full of secrets my dear Captain."

Picard looked at her over the rim of his glass.

"But not to you my dear Doctor",

He answered mimicking her earlier words.

She lay her head to the side frowning.

"I don't know."

She answered suddenly very seriously with a hint of sadness in her voice. She locked her eyes to his.

"Sometimes I think there is less I know about you than I actually do know about you."

He studied her face. All the lightness had vanished. He reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"All you have to do is ask. All you ever had to do is ask."

Beverly nodded and removed her hand from his. This whole situation. All the topics they had started to talk about scared the hell out of her. It was not that she didn't want to talk about all that with him. She wanted to do nothing more, but she wasn't ready. She would never be ready. She would stay scared starting this one conversation that had ended so abruptly more than three years ago. Food first. Let's eat and then I will tell him. She bent over to look at what he had placed onto the plates.

"Jean Luc."

She looked up and smiled at him.

"This looks wonderful. She grabbed a wrap and took a good bite."

"Beverly..."

She shook her head to stop him.

"Let's eat first. I am really starving."

She looked him in the eyes, her expression serious and pleading him not to rush her.

"We will take later. I promise!"

Picard nodded and leaned over to grab a sandwich.

They ate talking about their friends from the Enterprise. When they were done they placed the empty plates in the basket and Picard poured the last of the wine into their glasses. Beverly took the glass and swirled the liquid around watching the color change seeking confidence in the movement of the liquid.

When they had finished eating, silence fell upon them. She knew he was waiting for her to start talking. He didn't want to push her. Pushing her never worked. They looked towards the lake watching the sun on her way to kiss the horizon. It was still rather light. Very much like a summers day on good old earth he mused. The sun was not yet setting but the sky was shimmering golden and it started to get a little colder. He looked over at Beverly to see wether she was freezing.

She was sitting next to him. She had stretched her legs and placed her hands behind her back. Her head was directed towards the sky and her hair was falling freely down her back. The light catching in her hair and her face bathed in sunlight made her look like a fairy princess. The strap of the dress had slipped down over her shoulder and he could see slightly more of her breast than he was supposed to.

He could die happy simply looking at her now he thought for a short moment. But then he realized that he would never be completely happy, had he not the chance to touch her, to kiss her, and to feel her body under his hands.

Stirring she pulled him out of his daydream. She took a sip than looked him straight in the eyes. He had been waiting patiently for her to move the conversation to their former topic. She placed the glass down and so did he.

"You know Jean Luc?"

She paused.

"You are the only reason I am still on the Enterprise!"


	9. One Moment in Time-9-

Chapter 9

He looked at her in shock. So what Deanna had said was true. Beverly really considered leaving the ship. For a moment he was lost for words. What was it she had just said?

"Why?"

Was all he could say. He looked at her, his eyes begging her to continue. Her eyes rested on him. She was almost astonished how shocked he was, but knew that her face would have shown similar signs of disbelieve. She bend over and caressed his hand. She took a deep breath.

"Don't you see? I could never leave you."

Her voice was thick with emotion. There was no teasing nor seducing in it, just emotion and some kind of pain that he couldn't quite name.

She tried to smile but she only managed halfway. She took a breath, looking at his hands to gain some strength then looking up again slowly.

"It seems I have got kinda used to having you around."

She raised her eyebrow trying to lighten up this conversation, but utterly failed. This conversation would stir their deepest emotions, emotions they had kept buried deep down in their hearts for years and they knew it. Beverly was scared and Picard noticed that although he had wanted nothing more than to dig up these feelings, he was scared too.

"But you are no longer happy on the Enterprise, are you?"

He asked, almost whispering. He already knew the answer, but still needed her to speak the words out loud. She nodded slowly, still looking him straight into the eyes.

"How long has this been going on?"

She shook her head. His eyes were piercing her, trying to reach her inner soul and she needed to look away. His stare was too intense. Again she looked down. Her hand was still on his. When she didn't answer, he slowly moved his second hand to cover hers. She felt his warmth and his strength gave her strength. She shook her head. Yet another prove ,that I cannot do without him, she thought by herself. She swallowed and looked him in the eyes again

"I really don't know. It had been coming so gradually."

She took a small break before continuing.

"But I think it all started with the "E". It is just not the same anymore. Life has changed. People have changed. I know you were against families on bord, but for me it was the way it should be."

She looked down at their hands again.

"I joined Starfleet to become a Doctor. In the beginning, I had not intended to stay that long. But I did. I met some of the most important people in my life in Starfleet. It offered me a home when I came as a young student as well as when I lost Jack. It was a good life. I loved my career. I had a good life."

She removed her hands from his and started to fumble at her scarf that she had found next to her. Jean Luc sat still waiting for her to continue. He drew back his hand that suddenly felt empty.

"But now I am not so sure anymore. Starfleet has lost its appeal. I cannot take those missions any longer, patroling along borders. Don't get me wrong, but ..."

sie trailed off not finding the words to express her emotions, not wanting to hurt him, who had dedicated his hole life to starfleet

"I am starting to wonder.., I am starting to have all that what if questions, that I will never manage to answer."

She bit her lip and hesitated. She looked up at him trying to gain some strength from the love and compassion she knew, she would find in his eyes.

"And now look at me. Even if I would want to leave, I couldn't."

She felt a tear threatening to slip from her eye and quickly brushed it away with the back of her hand and looked away.

Picard was stunned at her revelation. He had not known that Beverly had felt that miserable lately. That she was tired and not very happy yes, but not that she was as much in distress as she was telling him now. He more and more wondered, how well he did know her at all. But it didn't matter right now. All that mattered was Beverly and that he would do everything to make her feel happy and whole again.

She was still fumbling with her scarf. He reached over to grab her hand.

"Beverly."

She slowly looked up. Her eyes were watery and yet another tear threatened to roll over her cheeks.

"I am sorry Jean Luc",

She said straightening herself up, wanting to get up. She suddenly felt an urge to run. This was getting too intense. This was a bad plan from the beginning. She had let herself be lulled into offering her deepest doubts to him and it had felt right in theory. But no longer. The compassion in his eyes. His hope and care. That was too much for her. She couldn't depend on him that much. Oh yes, she did, but she should have never told him.

"No!"

Picard exclaimed quickly holding her hand.

"You will not back out! Not now! We will talk about this now and we will try to find some way to make you happy again."

Beverly tried to free her hand from his grip, but he would not let her slip away.

"Please let go of me Jean Luc. You are hurting me."

He grabbed her arm with his other hand to be able to losen the grip on her hand.

"Let's talk about your future, Beverly."

He said, trying to keep his voice as calm and professional as possible.

She shook her head frenetically.

"No. Let me go."

Picard took a deep breath.

"Beverly. We are friends. Friends help each other and I want to help you. Please talk to me. What is bothering you so much that you cannot leave?"

She shook her head and looked away.

"I don't want to talk about it. Please let me go."

"But I want to talk about it. I want to know and I want to help. Hell Beverly! We have been through so much together and I can't count the times you batched me through difficult situations. Now it is my turn to help you through."

He stopped noticing that he almost shouted at her. Her losend his grip on her hand.

"Please Beverly, talk to me",

he whispered. His voice was soft and Beverly could hear the pain in his heart that she must have given him with her words.

Beverly slowly closed her eyes and breathed in and out trying to get control again. Picard felt her relax and let go of her hand. She didn't move away. That was a good start. She opened her eyes.

"But this is different. This is about my future. It is too difficult."

He put his hand on her shoulder gently massaging it with his thump. He needed that physical contact with her, needed to know that she was still here with him. as long as he could feel her, he had not lost her.

"Why Beverly?"

He askes again, his voice barley audible.

"why can you not talk to me about the future?"

She looked at him slightly annoyed.

"Jean Luc. When was the last time we talked about the future? Or rather mine or your future?"

Now it was his turn to be confused.

"You cannot tell, can you?"

She asked gainign some more control.

He shook his head.

"You know why? Because we never talk about the future. We hardly talk about our past. The only thing we are continually talking about is our present."

She looked at him awaiting his reaction. He swallowed. She was right. In fact there were only two occasions he remembered. Two occasions when they had talked about their future. After KessPritt and after Q had kidnapped him and presented him with, what his future might be. Both episodes had ended up in a catastrophe.

He slowly nodded. He felt awkward. There they had been meeting regularly for breakfast year after year. They had shared endless diners together, private and official ones but looking at it from a distance, their conversation rarely touched their very personal lives. Of course they batched each other through personal crisis but it was rarely about them. Or rather about what would become of them some time. Not as fries, not as a couple, not even as Starfleet swallowed.

"You are right. We seem to be utterly failing talking about the future."

He looked down at his hands to gather his thoughts. He felt utterly sad. He looked up again. Silently her replied.

"But maybe we should start talking about it here and now."

Beverly shook her head in frustration. She knew he didn't get it. Why couldn't he see the danger.

"Jean Luc. We tried and it ended up in a catastrophe. It is too dangerous. We cannot take the risk."

Jean Luc shook his head.

"Darn Beverly. What risk! What danger! We cannot run from the future and talking about it is the only way to get on. We are stuck. You said so yourself. You are stuck. You are not happy, where you are. You cannot move. But you will have to move on, otherwise you will no longer be Beverly but just a piece of meat."

He shrugged hearing his own words. But it was true. He knew it was true. He could not see her unhappily living on a ship, where she didn't want to be, just because of... what had she said. Because of him. It would kill both of them. He took a deep breath. And looked at her. Tears were running down her cheeks. He knew, that she was struggling not to run away from him and he felt awfully proud she didn't. His voice soft, he asked again.

"I want to help you."

He took a breath pleading.

"Please me help you!"


	10. One Moment In Time-10-

Chapter 10

Beverly looked at him. Her eyes full of confusion and tears of pain and frustration.

"Why is it so dangerous for us to talk about the future Beverly? Please tell me! I don't understand."

She looked him into the eyes.

"Because I cannot live without you and at the same time it scares the hell out of me, to share a life with you."

She kept on looking him in the eyes waiting for an answer. She could not remember a time she had felt so weak. She could barely speak. Her body felt limp and it took all her strength to sit.

"Because the only way to not lose you is to stay. So I am trapped. I cannot move on."

He looked at her.

"What if I told you, that I had been considering moving on."

He could see the panic in her eyes.

"Close your eyes."

She looked at him questioningly.

"Trust me Beverly."

He said his voice soft. He got up and kneeled behind her. He leaned forward to whisper into her ear. At the same time he gently laid his hand over her eyes. He felt her relaxing. Slowly, but her breathing got flatter and she felt more relaxed.

"Close your eyes Beverly."

When he felt her closing her eyes and starting to relax he started.

"Let me tell you how I see your future. Imagine a place similar to this. A quiet place somewhere far from the big cities. Far from Starfleet. Somewhere not too cold. Imagine a small house with a garden. Wild flowers and herbs growing along the fence. There is a fence but the door is always open. Take a deep breath. Can you smell the flowers?"

Beverly nodded.

"Enter the house! To the right there is a huge room filled with sofas and comfortable chairs around a big fireplace. Next to the window there is a hugh old dining table. It is dark and heavy. Several hundred years old and it holds place for at least eight persons. The wooden floor is covered with thick colorful carpets in front of the sofas. It is really comfortable sofas. You know those hugh ones were you sink in. Not like the ones on the Enterprise."

She giggled and he smiled.

"That sounds nice."

"Yes it does. But that is not all."

She wanted to turn around to look at him but he stopped her.

"Keep you eyes closed. Let's go into the garden again. There is a table with five glasses and a carafe with fresh lemonade. From behind the house you can hear children play. You come up the walkway with your medbag over the shoulder. You look exhausted but happy. It was a long birth. You look around and smile. Then you just let your bag fall to the ground and step towards the deck chair and sit down to let the sun warm your face. The kids come running calling "Mummy". One of them calls "Papa, Mummy is back"."

He puts his hand tenderly on her shoulder. She shuddered at his touch completely engrossed in his phantasy.

"I am standing right behind you and put my hand on your shoulder. You turn around and kiss me."

He felt her tense slightly, then she opened her eyes and took a deep breath. She turned around placing some distance between them.

"Jean Luc..."

He shook his head.

"Did you not like it?"

She shook her head.

"It is very beautiful, but it is not us."

He nodded.

"You are right."

He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Would it be too embarrassing to tell you, that this is how I imagined us to be ever since I met you for the first time?"

Beverly's eyes flew open in astonishment.

"You did?"

He smiled.

"You would be a brilliant doctor in my home village and I of course the most successful Captain in Starfleet. But even though I would be roaming space for most of the time, I would also be at home most of the time."

He laughed at himself and Beverly joined him.

He raised his eyebrows in mock.

"Of course I don't really know, how I managed to be home 365 days a year and being 365 days in space at the same time, but it was a phantasy."

He looked at her. His eyes serious again.

"You are not mad at me about that, are you?"

Beverly smiled.

"No. I just never imagined you to have that domestic phantasies."

He raised his eyebrow.

"Well, as we are starting to be completely honest to each other now, I might as well tell you, that I had quite some phantasies about how we got those children, too."

And with a twinkle in his eyes he added.

"And I am not talking about the part where you give birth."

To his relief she laughed out loud. He looked at her. Her eyes were puffy. Her hair was starting to get grey strands. Her expression had become harder after all those years, but when she laughed she looked as young and fibrant as when he first met her. It didn't matter. She was still the woman of his dreams. She was still the woman, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Even if that rest was getting shorter and shorter.

For a moment he didn't know how to continue. He looked at her. He could just exactly ask her to spent the rest of her live with him but she scared the hell out of him. He had been burned once and he could still feel the flames.

She looked at his face. She noticed the doubts and fear in his eyes.

"That was very nice. I rather like your imagination."

She smiled at him.

"But that is not the life we lived. I married Jack, had Wesley and became your CMO. And you never married."

"Do you sometime wonder, what would have happened if Jack hadn't died?"

She took a moment to find the right words. This was their weak point. She was almost astonished, he stared to dig into it. Usually he avoided talking ybouth Jack and KessPrytt had tole her his reason. But he was right. They also needed to talk about Jack. He still was between them like a old family ghost, restraining them more than they would like to admit.

"Not very often",

She started slowly.

"I was so young and still a student. I still had my whole life in front of me, when he died and had all options. I wouldn't be the woman I am now, had he not died. Had I been happier? I don't know! I know it is not a nice thing to say but I am sure I had not made such a career."

She paused.

"And I really love my life and my career."

She looked him straight in the eyes.

"I love my life!"

She took his hand and placed it in hers, following the lines of his hands with the finger of her other hand.

"I never blamed you for Jack's death. Neither for being a single mother or anything else that resulted his death."

He nodded.

"And I would never blame you for wanting me."

He swallowed. And managed to press her name out of his lips. She laid her finger on his lips to quiet him.

"You wanted complete honesty Jean Luc. Now listen to my truth."

He nodded.

"I love you Jean Luc and I want nothing more, than to be with you, but it scares the hell out of me. It not only scares me to find you on one of my operating tables, but also to be in your way. I know how important your career is to you. But I couldn't live to stand back behind you career and you couldn't sacrifice your career for me. If you want me, you will have to chose. But I cannot make you choose, because that won't be fair and I couldn't live with the knowledge, that you gave up your career for me."

He took a deep breath, looking at her in horror. She raised her eyebrow. He let the words sink into him before he got angry.

"And who are you to make that decision for me"'

He answered his voice slightly more angry and louder, than he had intended it to be. She backed of folding her hands in her bosom. He wouldn't let her. He grabbed her wrist and pulled it out of its secure hiding place.

"Was that, what you were doing after KesBritt? Did you decide for both of us?"

He stared at her intendently. But she didn't dare to answer him. He let go of her wrist placing his head in beneath his hands. He took several deep breaths.

"Beverly. I love you. Don't you think, that I love you more than my career. Don't you think, that I can make this decision myself?"

He shook his head. He got up and walked towards the lake. He didn't know what to say or do. Beverly slowly got up and came up behind him. She stopped standing right behind him.

"I am sorry Jean Luc."

She whispered tenderly placing her hand on his shoulders. She felt him sink at her touch, all anger still within him but slowly leaving his body.


	11. One Moment In Time-11-

Chapter 11

"Close your eyes."

She ordered him. She felt him relax slightly, but he didn't close his eyes. He was still angry. Very angry and she knew she was the one causing this anger in him. It came from deep inside him. It rattled his whole body and it confirmed, what he had told her in words just before he left. That he loved her more than his career.

"Please Jean Luc",

She begged. She felt him fight relaxation, but her hands on his shoulders did not only touch his body but his heart and soul. She was still there. He felt hope sprouting through the anger. He didn't want hope, being afraid that it would lead them in the wrong direction. He didn't want her friendship any longer. He wanted her as his partner in life. Maybe this was egoistic, but he didn't mind.

Beverly could feel him struggling. She felt tears in her eyes again. He was right about what he had said earlier. Who was she to decide upon both of them. She needed to be so much in control of everything, that she had made all this important decisions for both of them. Assuming... assuming the wrong things. She let her hands travel down his arms and up again, caressing him slightly and felt him relax a bit more.

"Jean Luc. Please close your eyes",

She whispered.

Finally he closed his eyes. She could see a single tear running down his cheek. She reached over and tenderly brushed it away. He leaned into her touch prolonging the moment. He felt completely lost. His fate was in her hands. He completely depended on her and in one way it scars him that she had such power over him. He knew she was right that night. They should be afraid. Back then, he only saw the possibilities and not the danger. Now all that was left was the danger to give oneself completely into another ones hands.

He thought he has done that before, but now he noticed he had never experienced that before. Neither in one of his relationships nor in his job. He had somehow always been in some kind of control. Now he was in no control but instead felt her power over him in a way he had never experienced before. He slightly trembled but her hands wandered down his arms again, caressing and calming him.

She felt her love growing as she saw him standing there totally alone with his emotions. This was the right time. This was the one moment in time her grandmother had talked about. They both were at this point. They were ready to give up and really rely on the other one without holding back a single bit. It was then that they were the most vulnerable but she knew they wouldn't hurt each other because the love they had for each other would protect their hearts and souls.

"Imagine the house you described earlier."

He nodded.

"20-25 years later. You and I sitting in front of the fireplace. I am a small towns doctor and you a dashing Admiral. Would you be happy?"

He smiled and turned around.

"Would we still be working on having more children?"

Beverly rolled her eyes.

"I am sorry."

He excused himself.

"No, don't be."

She answered she answered softly.

"I hope we would still be working on having children together. And counting the time I had imagined me and you making making we must have hundreds by now."

She added with a smirk on her face. Now it was his time to be shocked.

"No more hiding",

Beverly said.

"You said so yourself! And I find you very attractive."

But than she got serious again.

"Could you imagine giving up on being a Captain? Would you give up exploring the stars and still be happy?"

He took a breath.

"Let's sit down again."

They walked back to the blanket and sat down next to each other watching the changing light, when the sun started to slowly set.

"I will not become an Admiral Beverly, but I will not stay to be a Captain either."

He paused for a moment. He needed to let his words sink into his body and soul. Without knowing he had, over those last months been repeatedly thinking about those words over and over again. Now he also knew that he already made the decision before Deanna Troi had talked to him only a week ago. He knew it was the right thing to do. He just had not told himself yet. He turned his head to see her reaction. Her face was blanc in astonishment.

"I don't know when I made this decision but deep down in my heart I had been wondering about my role in Starfleet for some time and the more I thought of it, the less I could see myself going on working with them. I have dedicated most of my life to Starfleet and I am not sorry about a single day, but with all the changes ongoing and the direction it is heading towards, I don't see my place in it any more. I guess I simply needed our conversation to admit it to myself..."

He looked at her waiting. She didn't know what to say. He hesitated but then took her hand into his.

"If you could do with simply Jean Luc sitting next to you at the fireplace, I would be the happiest man in the world."

Beverly looked down at his hand caressing hers. She still was lost for words. Then she looked up and nodded her voice full of emotion she said.

"That would do fine."

He smiled at her and let out the breath, he had been holding.

"So what do we do now",

He asked, looking at her rather insecure. She smiled taking his hand guiding him to the nearest rock.

"We will start practicing simply being Jean Luc and Beverly sitting leaning on the rock and watching the rest of the sunset and the stars."

He smiled grabbing her scarf and the spare blanket on the way. He spread the blanket and sat down leaning with his back to the rock.

"It's a rather small rock",

He stated.

"You will have to sit rather close!"

She smiled.

"Sit down. I will be very selfish and use you as my cushion."

He smiled devilishly. She pulled her scarf around her bare shoulders and sat down in between his legs. He noted with great satisfaction, that she didn't mind at all snuggling into his chest. She pulled the blanket over them and sighed.

"That is rather nice Jean Luc."

He couldn't stop smiling. Feeling her body so close to him was like being in heaven. They had not really talked about their relationship, but right now all that counted was, that she was here right next to him in his arms. Well, almost in his arms, because his arms were still placed at his side not knowing what to do. But it seemed Beverly had a plan, because she took his hands and wrapped them tightly around her body. One hand landed around her waist the second one she took and placed it right above her heart.

The dress had slightly slipped so it partly landed on her bare skin. He could feel the swell of her breast and instantly felt his body react to this touch. He was embarrassed. He felt like a teenager. When was the last time he was so insecure in the company of a woman?

Beverly sighed. How could she ever think that this was not right. She still had no idea, how this was going to proceed, but they would be together and that was all that mattered. It was Jeank Luc who spoke first after some time.

"Where do we go from her?"

Beverly shook her head.

"I don't know."

Jean Luc carefully leaned forward to look at her. His movement made her look back so she could face him.

"But we go together?"

He asked still slightly unsure of what had been going on.

She smiled at him.

"Definitely together!"

"Good! I won't let you slip away from me anymore."

he said and tightened his grip around her waist.

She let out a small laugh and looked up into the stars that had started to be visible in the dark of the night. They sat in silence for a while.

"I will resign as soon as we are back on the Enterprise and when I am through all the procedures I will be free to go anywhere you want to go."

He finally broke the silence.

"I would want to go to France and see your home. I would also want to visit Caldos."

She made a small break remembering their last visit.

"You know, normally it is a rather nice place and not haunted."

"So LaBarre and Caldos it shall be. It will be quite adventurous to rely on public transport."

Beverly let out a small laugh.

"I had been thinking about resigning the first day we are back, but maybe I should wait a bit ..."

Jean Luc slightly slapped her shoulder.

She lifted both her hands in excuse.

"Ok.., Ok..."

She leaned back against his shoulder again.

"I will finally sell the apartment in San Francisco."

"You still have the apartment!"

Asked Jean Luc in astonishment.

She nodded.

"I don't know myself why I kept it. I thought it would be a place to come back to when things got bad but I never even got back since I had worked that year in Starfleet Medical! And back then it did not feel like home either."

Beverly pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. The night started to be colder and the first dew fell out of the air.

"You are cold."

Jean Luc stated and started to move behind her.

"Let's go back to the house."

She wanted to protest, but he slipped out behind her and stood up. She took his hand and he easily pulled her up. They decided to come back tomorrow morning to fetch the rest of their picnic and walked back to the house hand in hand.

There was no more need for words. One thing he always liked about her was that they simply could be together enjoying each other's company without talking. But there was one thing he needed to know.

"Why now, Beverly?"

She turned to him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Why now? Why did you accept my invitation? Why did you agree to talk about what is bothering you? Why did you talk about the future. I am sorry. It is not important but I need to know."

Beverly smiled. Her hand reached up to caress his face.

"Oh Jean Luc!"

He swallowed hard and leaned into her caress.

"My grandmother used to tell me that there is this one moment in time for everything. It might come again but yet it might as well never reoccur."

She smiled and kissed his lips lightly.

"I guess it simply was that moment and without rationally knowing I knew it was."

Picard nodded.

"And we both were ready to seize that moment to start something new."

She raised her eyebrow and backed.

"Yes!"

She said softly taking his hand again and slowly walking of in the direction of their cabin.

When they entered the living room both of them stared to feel awkward. It was Beverly that finally directed her feet towards her bedroom. Noticing that Jean Luc did not follow her she turned around and took his hand.

"Come Jean Luc. Come and make love to me like we both imagined it to be."

Wild horses could not have kept him from following her now. He smiled. They would start writing a new story together. Together! Whatever might be, they would be together and that was all that mattered.

Fin

As you all know Star Trek is Paramount and Paramount alone. This Story however is mine, so don't copy-paste.


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